I recently came across this anonymous letter. On reading these words it is obvious to me that this person is struggling with who they are and the world around them.

Even though it is unknown who this person is I want to share this article with you, as I believe it illustrates some of the struggles that someone in our lives (perhaps even yourself) may experience.

I do not know if this person is autistic or not. They may or may not be on the autism spectrum, but either way they do find it difficult to ‘fit in’ and know how to relate to others.

Perhaps you may also have similar challenges in your life.

My experience and story below may not be exactly the same as what other aspies experience, but it may begin to paint a picture of what some people with Asperger’s syndrome go thru when they find themselves around other people. This is especially true in settings where more than a few people are gathered together, such as at a sporting event, church meeting or even large family gathering.

I stand, looking around at everyone talking to each other and wondering, “Will anyone come over and talk with me?” I feel like it would be nice to be included, but at the same time I fear that someone may actually come and talk to me. How will I know what to say? Will I be able to look them in the eye as is expected? Will they see my fear and think that I am strange?

I find the noise and lights difficult to deal with. My eyes and mind get easily distracted by those typing into their smart phone, by feet tapping on the floor and other sounds and movements that most people do not even seem to notice.

The clock ticking on the wall seems so loud to me. How can everyone else just ignore it? Don’t they hear that continual tap, tap, tap of that pen tapping on the arm of the chair? I find I cannot concentrate on anything else as these constant sounds keep distracting me.

Most of all I see all of the interaction between those in the same room as me and I feel some how different. I feel like I do not fit in, that I am different in some way from those I am watching.

  • Why can’t I be like them?
  • What can I do to make myself fit in?
  • What can I do to be normal?
  • How can I make others like me?

When I finally get back home I feel both physically and emotionally exhausted. I am relieved to be back in my own familiar surroundings, but know that once again very soon I will need to leave and face the barrage of sounds, sights and people. I know that soon I will have to step out of my comfort zone and interact with others.

Each time I do this it does not seem to get easier. It continues to be difficult for me to relate, interact and connect with other humans.

I do not know if I will ever understand why I find simple things so difficult that others seem to find so easy. This is my life, my world – my world with Asperger’s.

Please leave your thoughts and comments below. I will reply and give you my feedback too.

Remember that you can make a difference in the life of someone today just by being who you are!

Many Blessings,
Justine 🙂

I was excited when I read about this lady, Tracey Cohen today. Tracey has bravely stepped out to share her own experiences with Asperger’s syndrome in her new book “100 Lessons to Understand and Support Girls and Women with Asperger’s”.

You can see more on the book here “100 Lessons”

Tracey lived most of her life wondering why she was different. Her mum had taken her to doctors and professionals from a young age asking for help, but they were never truly been able to give a helpful answer. If fact, many times Tracey’s mum, Joanie was made to feel that she was just overacting and that there was nothing really wrong.

100 Lessons

Since often it is boys that seem to be more easily diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum, Tracey has focused her book on girls and women.

It was actually only at age 39, back in 2011, that Tracey was finally diagnosed as having an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) and more specifically Asperger’s syndrome. Since this point in time she has become more aware of the need for information on the topic for females as there is not a lot written specifically about autistic women or girls.

I love Tracey’s passion to help make others more aware. Her desire is that her book will not only help those with Asperger’s, but that it will also assist their family members and friends in better understanding how this impacts life each day and the challenges that it may bring.

Receiving a diagnosis, as Tracey did some four years ago, does not remove the disability. Asperger’s syndrome and being on the autism spectrum are still there and still need to be dealt with each day, but having a professional diagnosis can help to provide validation, as it did for Tracey Cohen.

This can validate and begin to give answers as to why you are different from others around you, even other family members. This in itself is a powerful thing and can help bring healing from years of wondering “What is wrong with me?” or “Why am I different?

Hopefully Tracey’s book, written from a first-hand perspective, can also help make those professionals in the field of autism more aware of the effect that it has in the lives of females of all ages. My hope is that this will help in diagnosing girls and women with Asperger’s and to also support them and their families.

What are your thoughts and experiences with autism or Asperger’s syndrome? Please leave your comments below. I will reply to you as well. Thanks.

Remember that you can make a difference in the life of someone today just by being who you are!

Many Blessings,
Justine 🙂


You have now completed the 50 questions of the Aspergers AQ test and have your AQ score in front of you.

So what does this number mean?

Interpreting Your AQ Score

Basically the range for possible answers is 0 to 50. The information below shows you the different ranges as recorded from others sitting this same AQ quiz over the years.

  • 0-11 low result – indicating no tendency at all towards autistic traits.
  • 11-21 is the average result that people get (many women average around 15 and men around 17)
  • 22-25 shows autistic tendencies slightly above the population average
  • 26-31 gives a borderline indication of an autism spectrum disorder. It is also possible to have aspergers or mild autism within this range.
  • 32-50 indicates a strong likelihood of Asperger syndrome or autism.

In fact, scores of 32 or above are one of strong indicators of having as ASD.

It is important to keep in mind that this quiz and the result you got are a useful tool, but are by no means a form of diagnosis or asperger’s syndrome or an autism spectrum disorder. If your resulting AQ score was above 31 then you may want to follow up with a medical practitioner to do further tests in order to determine 100% if you do have an ASD or aspergers.

If you suspect that you or someone you care about is affected by asperger then it is important that you continue to learn more about this condition. You can begin on this website with some of the useful articles that are here and more that will be added in the future.

Simon Baron-Cohen, a psychologist from Cambridge’s Autism Research Centre was assisted by his colleagues in the development of this AQ test. This Autism Spectrum Quotient quiz was created to give an indication of autism spectrum disorder traits in adults.

It is interesting to note that 16.4 was the average score that people received in the first major trial of this autism test. Another point of interest is that around 80% of those actually diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder got an AQ score of 32 or higher out of the maximum 50.

Autism Spectrum Quotient Questions

Below are the actual questions and instructions on taking the AQ Quiz

How to take the Aspergers AQ Test

For each question, record if you “Definitely agree”, “Slightly agree”, “Slightly disagree” or “Definitely disagree”.

1. I prefer to do things with others rather than on my own.

2. I prefer to do things the same way over and over again.

3. If I try to imagine something, I find it very easy to create a picture in my mind.

4. I frequently get so strongly absorbed in one thing that I lose sight of other things.

5. I often notice small sounds when others do not.

6. I usually notice car number plates or similar strings of information.

7. Other people frequently tell me that what I’ve said is impolite, even though I think it is polite.

8. When I’m reading a story, I can easily imagine what the characters might look like.

9. I am fascinated by dates.

10. In a social group, I can easily keep track of several different people’s conversations.

11. I find social situations easy.

12. I tend to notice details that others do not.

13. I would rather go to a library than to a party.

14. I find making up stories easy.

15. I find myself drawn more strongly to people than to things.

16. I tend to have very strong interests, which I get upset about if I can’t pursue.

17. I enjoy social chitchat.

18. When I talk, it isn’t always easy for others to get a word in edgewise.

19. I am fascinated by numbers.

20. When I’m reading a story, I find it difficult to work out the characters’ intentions.

21. I don’t particularly enjoy reading fiction.

22. I find it hard to make new friends.

23. I notice patterns in things all the time.

24. I would rather go to the theater than to a museum.

25. It does not upset me if my daily routine is disturbed.

26. I frequently find that I don’t know how to keep a conversation going.

27. I find it easy to “read between the lines” when someone is talking to me.

28. I usually concentrate more on the whole picture, rather than on the small details.

29. I am not very good at remembering phone numbers.

30. I don’t usually notice small changes in a situation or a person’s appearance.

31. I know how to tell if someone listening to me is getting bored.

32. I find it easy to do more than one thing at once.

33. When I talk on the phone, I’m not sure when it’s my turn to speak.

34. I enjoy doing things spontaneously.

35. I am often the last to understand the point of a joke.

36. I find it easy to work out what someone is thinking or feeling just by looking at their face.

37. If there is an interruption, I can switch back to what I was doing very quickly.

38. I am good at social chitchat.

39. People often tell me that I keep going on and on about the same thing.

40. When I was young, I used to enjoy playing games involving pretending with other children.

41. I like to collect information about categories of things (e.g., types of cars, birds, trains, plants).

42. I find it difficult to imagine what it would be like to be someone else.

43. I like to carefully plan any activities I participate in.

44. I enjoy social occasions.

45. I find it difficult to work out people’s intentions.

46. New situations make me anxious.

47. I enjoy meeting new people.

48. I am a good diplomat.

49. I am not very good at remembering people’s date of birth.

50. I find it very easy to play games with children that involve pretending.

Psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen and his colleagues at Cambridge’s Autism Research Centre have created the Autism-Spectrum Quotient, or AQ, as a measure of the extent of autistic traits in adults. In the first major trial using the test, the average score in the control group was 16.4. Eighty percent of those diagnosed with autism or a related disorder scored 32 or higher. The test is not a means for making a diagnosis, however, and many who score above 32 and even meet the diagnostic criteria for mild autism or Asperger’s report no difficulty functioning in their everyday lives.

How to score your answers:

“Definitely agree” or “Slightly agree” responses to questions 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 12, 13, 16, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 26, 33, 35, 39, 41, 42, 43, 45, 46 score 1 point.

“Definitely disagree” or “Slightly disagree” responses to questions 3, 8, 10, 11, 14, 15, 17, 24, 25, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 34, 36, 37, 38, 40, 44, 47, 48, 49, 50 score 1 point.


Aspergers Treatment

Aspergers Treatment Can Improve Quality Of LifeParents who look at their child with Asperger syndrome (AS), and see the struggles and difficulties, want to know what Aspergers treatment is available to enable their child to live a full and happy life. No parent wants to see their child struggling with things that many of us take for granted. So what options are available to assist families and patients with Asperger’s syndrome?






Aspergers Treatment Options:

  • Behavioral therapy
  • Hiring a behavioral therapist to assist with your Aspie child at home
  • Social skills therapy
  • Healthy, well-balanced diet
  • Educational support
  • Medications
  • Natural herbal remedies (as part of the overall treatment strategy)

Treatment For Aspies

Any treatments or interventions that can improve your child’s quality of life or functionality are well worth considering. Also setting up a holistic approach to Asperger treatment is almost certain to achieve much better results, rather than just focusing on one plan of attack.

It is important to keep in mind that there is currently no cure for those with Aspergers, but there is hope with treatment. There is no single Asperger syndrome treatment that achieves positive results in all cases, but one of the main forms of treatment for Aspies is behavioural therapy.

The main goal of any treatment is to eAspergers treatment starts with a careful planmpower the Aspie to be able to better interact with those around them and to enable them to become a self-sufficient member of society. With this in mind it is important to begin behavioral therapy at as young an age as possible, once AS has been diagnosed. Since each child and adult with Aspergers differs in the specific symptoms, both in severity and number, it is important that any treatment plan be designed with this specific Aspie in mind in order to achieve the optimum outcome.

Behavioral Therapist At Home

Some families have found that it is tremendously helpful to hire a behavioural therapist to assist on a regular basis at home. This sets up a stable environment where your child builds a relationship with the therapist and can develop social skills through the on-going treatment.

As well as hiring an independent person as a behavioral therapist in your home, it is important that the parents and other family members also learn some behavioral techniques so as to assist your child. These skills will also give everyone involved a better understanding of the aspie and the resulting behavior.

Finding Services

You can begin by asking your family doctor if they can recommend any services or sources of treatment for your child. Most doctors or medical centers should be able to refer you to local services in your community.

The next port of call would be to contact your local school district. You should be able to gather information on what specific assistance is available to your child through the education system or other community based support systems.

Treat Other Possible Conditions

Another fact that is important to be mindful of is that your child may have other conditions as well as the Aspergers, which could bring additional challenges to the table.

Such coexisting conditions may include:

  • Bipolar disorder
  • Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
  • Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
  • Depression

If you suspect that your child is affected by any of these additional conditions then be sure to consult your family doctor as soon as possible. Your doctor will then be able to point you in the best direction for treatment for any of these other disorders or conditions.

By getting on top of these quickly your child will be better able to handle any challenges that arise from AS and face life in a more positive way.


Aspergers syndrome is not always easy to deal with or understand, but for those with a loved one with AS it is essential that family members invest some time to better know and understand what is going on. There is hope and a future for aspies and their families. Remember to keep positive and seek support when you are feeling down or overwhelmed with the whole situation. Aspies can live a fulfilled life as a part of society; it just takes some effort to teach skills and patterns of relating socially.



Aspergers Treatment – Mayo Clinic

Listen and Learn Centre – Asperger’s Syndrome

Treatment for Asperger’s Disorder

Aspergers Checklist

Aspergers Checklist Helps Discover If You Have AspergerWhen you are wondering if someone you love may have Asperger syndrome (AS) it is helpful to look at a list of symptoms. That is why this article has been written with an Aspergers checklist that you can use as part of your preliminary investigations into AS.

There are distinguishing factors and characteristics that set children apart when they suffer from one of the known autism spectrum disorders, specifically in this case Asperger’s Syndrome. Keep in mind too that Aspies can vary greatly in the extent and nature of the problems, characteristics or symptoms that they display. This fact alone means that treating AS needs to be targeted as much as possible for each unique person.

Aspies are generally impacted in any of these four different areas of life:

  • Social interaction
  • Communication skills
  • Physically
  • Repetitive or restrictive patterns

Those with Asperger syndrome may be characterized by some of the following, which have been broken down into the four areas mentioned above:

Social interaction

  • Difficulty interacting with others – social skills
  • Difficulty making friends
  • Find it hard to get close to others
  • Difficulty understanding jokes and metaphors
  • Concept of fiction is not easily understood
  • Difficulty looking others directly in the eye
  • Inappropriate staring
  • May appear bored in social situations
  • Tendency to misinterpret or misunderstand gestures and facial expressions
  • May seem to lack empathy for others

Communication skillsAspergers Checklist

  • Communicating with others may be impaired
  • Tendency to speak with a monotone inflection
  • May speak too formally for the situation
  • Slang language may not be a part of usual speech
  • Fixed pitch when talking
  • May run off on tangents
  • Tendency to sound incoherent in conversations
  • Difficulty in picking up on changes in conversation topic
  • Tendency to speak incessantly about one particular subject
  • May not allow opportunity for the other person (or people) to say anything
  • May never really come to a conclusion in any conversation


  • Tendency to be clumsy
  • Oversensitivity to stimuli through the five senses – including light, taste, textures, smells and sound
  • Unusual facial expressions
  • Unusual posture
  • Different gait when walking

Repetitive or restrictive patterns

  • Overly reliant on fixed routines
  • Difficulty handling changes to the daily routine
  • May become overly attached to specific objects
  • Interests may be limited
  • Tendency to become obsessive over details
  • May throw temper tantrums
  • May become preoccupied with a certain activity

The Aspergers checklist above lists some of the symptoms that Aspies may exhibit. It is important to understand that each case is unique and the specific asperger symptoms experienced by each person with AS will also be unique.

As an Aspie grows from childhood into adulthood the symptoms and severity of them may change. Each stage in life will hold its own set up challenges that will need to be dealt with and addressed in order for the Aspie child, teenager or adult to be able to relate to others and fit in as well as possible to society.


Listen and Learn Center – Asperger’s Syndrome Symptoms

Asperger’s in Children

Web MD – Asperger’s Syndrome Symptoms

Angel Fire – Asperger Syndrome

Aspergoid features

Aspergers In Adults

Aspergers In Adults throws up surmountable challengesJust as children can struggle with AS so too Aspergers in adults also presents challenges and hurdles. There is no cure for Aspergers. Hence kids who are diagnosed as having asperger syndrome will carry many of the difficulties and symptoms into their adult life.



Symptoms Of Aspergers In Adults

The symptoms in adults are similar to those in children and young people. Keep in mind too that aspies have strengths as well as weaknesses, just like everyone else on the planet. So even though there are challenges and difficulties there are also strengths that need to be remembered and encouraged.

  • Difficulty with problem solving
  • Problems making predictions
  • Problems using high-level verbal reasoning skills
  • Difficulty in participating in general conversations including ‘small talk’
  • Difficulties with seeing and understanding the view points of others
  • Difficulty empathizing with the feelings and emotions of others
  • Tendency to become stressed when routines are altered

Strengths may include:

  • Average to above average intellect
  • Passionate about a specific hobby or interest
  • Ability to work well within a set routine

Aspergers In Adults May Produce Challenges

Some of the areas that aspie adults need to work through and develop skills in may include:

  • Relationships
  • Marriage
  • Intimate Relations
  • Parenting
  • Work place


Everyone, regardless of whether they have asperger syndrome or not, struggles at times in relationships with others. It is true that aspies may have more difficulties than some, but the fact remains that every person who has friends or is in a relationship sometimes find it hard to get on and communicate well with the other party or parties.

Those with aspergers can especially struggle due to the inability to participate well in ‘small talk’ and general, every day conversation. The difficulty with understanding jokes and abstract concepts can also make communications within a relationship somewhat harder than the average relationship.

Difficulty understanding social cues may also make communicating somewhat challenging for those with asperger syndrome. Finding it hard to understand facial expresses or to read between the lines with what others say or do can also make relationship building a challenge. Being attached to fixed routines may at times make it difficult to develop deep and meaningful relationships.

But regardless of the challenges it is possible to develop real friendships and relationships, but will take some effort and understanding from everyone involved.


One issue that can especially arise in marriage is the difficulty that a person with aspergers has in empathizing with others. Emotions and feelings are important in marriage, or any relationship for that matter, and if the couple is unable to share these emotions with each other then it can put additional strain on the relationship and marriage.

It may not even be that the person with aspergers does not experience emotions, but rather that he or she does not know how to express these emotions. If you step back for a moment and imagine whatAdults with Aspergers Syndrome may find relationships difficult it would be like if you did feel various emotions in different situations and yet were unable to know how to express these emotions, then what would you do? How would you feel in such circumstances? According to some aspies this is indeed the case, that they feel emotions, sometimes evenly strongly, but are not able to display and express what they are feeling inside.

Intimate Relations

There is also the issue of relating sexually. It may be difficult for an Aspergian to fully grasp the importance of the entire concept of courtship and relating that precedes sex. It is really important that this whole issue be discussed and brought out into the open so that the marriage relationship can have the very best chance of success.

It may be that the one with asperger does not have a high sex drive, as some people who are married to aspies have indicated. Or it may also be that they simply do not know how to relate intimately with another person. If social interaction is difficult then being physically intimate can take this difficulty to a whole new level!

If you are in a relationship with someone who has been diagnosed as having asperger syndrome then it is important to discuss this situation with someone who understands aspergers. Do not just suffer in silence if this is impacting you or someone you love, but rather reach out for help.


Parenting is not an easy task at the best of times. When one or both parents have aspergers then the task of being a parent may be even more challenging. It is important that the situation be explained to the child as they grow so that they can better understand that both parents love him or her and that it is because of the asperger condition that some of the additional challenges arise.

Problems may come up when routines and schedules are broken or changed. If the kids are meant to do something at a certain time and this gets altered then it may cause stress for the aspergian parent.

It may also be hard for the aspie parent to understand and empathize with the emotions that the child is feeling or expressing. This can leave the child feeling like the parent doesn’t care, when this is not the case.

Perfectionism can also cause strain on the relationship between the parent with asperger and the child. If things are not done the way the parent wants and they become angry then the child may learn to fear the parent and pull away from them.

Work Place

Oftentimes aspies feel most relaxed and comfortable when they operate within fixed routines. Hence a job that does not throw up unexpected surprises is probably the best choice for those diagnosed with asperger’s syndrome.

Possible Career Ideas

Many Aspergians can still live a very full and happy life and enjoy a fulfilling job or career. It is important to select a line of work though that plays to the aspie’s strengths while minimizing the need to rely on areas of challenge or weakness. If you enjoy technology and have a good eye for detail then there are many jobs or careers that you could pursue. Hence below is a list of possible career or job ideas.

  • Designing websites
  • Photography
  • Computer programming
  • Drafting
  • Auto mechanic
  • Building trades
  • Video game creator
  • Drafting

It is important to find something that you will enjoy doing day after day and that will not stress you too much. This list hopefully will spark some ideas for you.

Misspelling of Asperger

Sometimes when people have not known of Aspergers previously and they are researching the topic then they may type ‘Asberger’ into the search engine online instead of the correctly spelled Asperger. For instance, ‘Asbergers in adults’ or ‘asberger in adults’ may be the term that they type in to find out more information. I just thought that I would mention this as you may arrive at this page and be happy to learn the correct spelling of this word.


Aspergers in adults can be challenging just as it is for children and teens. Hence it is important to seek assistance from a support group or professional that understands the hardships faced by those with asperger and the family and friends of these people.

Even with the difficulties involved it is still possible for those adults with aspergers to live happy, fulfilling lives, to enjoy healthy relationships, to become parents and to have an interesting career or job.


FAAAS – Families impacted by Asperger Syndrome

Wikipedia – Aspergers

Adults with Asperger

Asperger Emotions

Workplace ideas

You may think that Asperger behavior is something, which is easy to define and categorize, but this is not always the case. The behavior that aspies demonstrate can be as varied as each individual person is. But having said that there are still certain tendencies and patterns of behavior that can be helpful in pin pointing general asperger syndrome behavior.

Reasons for Aspie Behavior

The child or adult that has aspergers is not behaving in a specific way with the conscious intent of annoying you or the situation. No. An aspie does not always understand the appropriate or expected behavior in any given scenario. Hence the behavior that the person with ASD displays may be totally inappropriate.

The reasons behind the ‘inappropriate’ behavior are most likely because the child, teenager or adult with asperger syndrome honestly has no idea of the correct or best way to handle the situation that they find themselves in.

Picture yourself in a situation and as hard as you try you are not able to work out how you should behave or what you should do. Can you imagine the stress and confusion that could result from such a scenario?

Results of Misunderstanding Asperger Behavior

It is important for you to keep in mind when the behavior that an aspie demonstrates is misunderstood then it can cause great stress for this particular person. If left unresolved and unaddressed then this stress can actually go on to cause anxiety disorders and/or depression to develop within this person with asperger syndrome.

Hence it is important that within your family you work to understand why the aspie is behaving in a particular manner and work out strategies to manage this behavior.

Triggers for Aspergers Behavioral Problems

One big trigger could be disruptions or changes to routines. It is well known that most aspies love set routines. It is when these routines are altered that problems can arise because the person involved does not know how to cope with the changes.Children with Aspergers can enjoy a happy childhood

Another trigger can be when the person with asperger finds him or herself in an unfamiliar situation. If it is not something that they are familiar with or know what is expected of them then it is quite likely that they will behave in a way that is perhaps not the best.

Winning or losing in a race or competition may be another area that causes difficulty for an aspie. In society there are certain expectations for what is accepted behavior and what is not. If the child or adult with asperger does not understand what these appropriate behaviors are in any given situation then problems may arise due to the stress, pressure and anxiety that they feel.

Specific Types of Aspergers Problem Behavior

If an aspie finds him or herself in a situation that they have no idea how to handle then they may display behaviors that are not publicly accepted.

For instance:

  • Temper tantrums
  • Anger and aggression
  • Physical aggression – including hitting, punching, kicking, biting or pinching
  • Withdrawal
  • Low motivation and self-esteem
  • Problems relating to going to the toilet

Other Conditions?

Keep in mind too that the behaviour could be caused by other conditions rather than just asperger syndrome. So if you are concerned then please contact a medical professional who is familiar with this autism spectrum disorder and other conditions.


Always remember that anyone with aspergers syndrome is not consciously trying to behave in a certain way. The behavior comes out of their lack of knowledge of how to cope with any given situation. Seek to set up open communication and strategies for handling difficult situations when they arise. Also be quick to forgive and move on. There is no point in dwelling on any past asperger behavior that has occurred.


Aspergers Problem Behavior

Asperger’s Behavior

Your Asperger Child: The Reasons Behind the Behavior

Coping with Behavioral Problems