You may think that Asperger behavior is something, which is easy to define and categorize, but this is not always the case. The behavior that aspies demonstrate can be as varied as each individual person is. But having said that there are still certain tendencies and patterns of behavior that can be helpful in pin pointing general asperger syndrome behavior.

Reasons for Aspie Behavior

The child or adult that has aspergers is not behaving in a specific way with the conscious intent of annoying you or the situation. No. An aspie does not always understand the appropriate or expected behavior in any given scenario. Hence the behavior that the person with ASD displays may be totally inappropriate.

The reasons behind the ‘inappropriate’ behavior are most likely because the child, teenager or adult with asperger syndrome honestly has no idea of the correct or best way to handle the situation that they find themselves in.

Picture yourself in a situation and as hard as you try you are not able to work out how you should behave or what you should do. Can you imagine the stress and confusion that could result from such a scenario?

Results of Misunderstanding Asperger Behavior

It is important for you to keep in mind when the behavior that an aspie demonstrates is misunderstood then it can cause great stress for this particular person. If left unresolved and unaddressed then this stress can actually go on to cause anxiety disorders and/or depression to develop within this person with asperger syndrome.

Hence it is important that within your family you work to understand why the aspie is behaving in a particular manner and work out strategies to manage this behavior.

Triggers for Aspergers Behavioral Problems

One big trigger could be disruptions or changes to routines. It is well known that most aspies love set routines. It is when these routines are altered that problems can arise because the person involved does not know how to cope with the changes.Children with Aspergers can enjoy a happy childhood

Another trigger can be when the person with asperger finds him or herself in an unfamiliar situation. If it is not something that they are familiar with or know what is expected of them then it is quite likely that they will behave in a way that is perhaps not the best.

Winning or losing in a race or competition may be another area that causes difficulty for an aspie. In society there are certain expectations for what is accepted behavior and what is not. If the child or adult with asperger does not understand what these appropriate behaviors are in any given situation then problems may arise due to the stress, pressure and anxiety that they feel.

Specific Types of Aspergers Problem Behavior

If an aspie finds him or herself in a situation that they have no idea how to handle then they may display behaviors that are not publicly accepted.

For instance:

  • Temper tantrums
  • Anger and aggression
  • Physical aggression – including hitting, punching, kicking, biting or pinching
  • Withdrawal
  • Low motivation and self-esteem
  • Problems relating to going to the toilet

Other Conditions?

Keep in mind too that the behaviour could be caused by other conditions rather than just asperger syndrome. So if you are concerned then please contact a medical professional who is familiar with this autism spectrum disorder and other conditions.


Always remember that anyone with aspergers syndrome is not consciously trying to behave in a certain way. The behavior comes out of their lack of knowledge of how to cope with any given situation. Seek to set up open communication and strategies for handling difficult situations when they arise. Also be quick to forgive and move on. There is no point in dwelling on any past asperger behavior that has occurred.


Aspergers Problem Behavior

Asperger’s Behavior

Your Asperger Child: The Reasons Behind the Behavior

Coping with Behavioral Problems



11 Responses to “Asperger Behavior Impacts Everyday Life”

  1. Jennalyn

    I thought that I had been diagnosed with SPD, but now i’m not so sure. Saturday night at my ward Christmas Party for church, I was talking to a family friend about how SPD affects me. As I was talking to her, my mom (who was sitting right next to her) told me to be quiet about it. So I did. Then, a few seconds later (she probably thought I was paying attention to something else), I heard her tell our family friend these EXACT words: “Don’t listen to her about it. She doesn’t have SPD. That’s why we haven’t told her that she has Asperger’s”. I have looked her in her eyes multiple times and asked her if I have Asperger’s. Every single time I have (within a couple days before, too), she has said no. I took your quiz and I got a 39. How do you think I should I confront my mom about it?

    • Justine

      Hi Jennalyn
      That is really a difficult situation that you find yourself in with your mom.

      Reading through what you have written I have two thoughts.

      One option is to tell your mom that you seriously need to talk with her. Then be upfront and tell her your concerns and what you heard her say at the church party. Tell her how you feel about this whole situation and what she said and did. Focus on how you are feeling.

      The other option would be to seek out a trusted adult family member or friend (perhaps even a church pastor or leader) and share the whole situation with them. It is important that you choose carefully who you will trust, but if you have such a person in your life then this may be the first step in helping you through this difficult time.

      I am praying for you Jennalyn. Let us know how you get on.
      God bless you and your life.
      Justine 🙂

  2. Kara

    I have a 14 yr old autistic son. So I have done a lot of research over the years. I’ve suspected myself as having asperergers for awhile. Not just this test I started having seizures in my teenage years, I’m a recovering drug addict ,substances made life easier to deal with than complete turmoil. Anyways I have tried to tell family this to get tested they say I’m paranoid. I’m very close to my mother and she was upset when i brought it up replying that she raised me she would have known. I feel lost & crazy again… Anyways Thank You

    • Justine

      Hi Kara
      I truly appreciate you leaving your comment. Thank you for sharing some of your own experience and struggles. 🙂

      From my own experience, I have seen that it is often not easy for family members to acknowledge that there may be something that they missed and were not aware of. Often they can become defensive, even as it sounds like your mother did.

      Please know that you are not alone. Often talking about what bothers us (in a safe place and with those we trust) can help us to clear our head and determine the best path to move forward. 🙂

      Please always feel free to stop by again and let us know how you are getting on.
      You are always welcome.

  3. Mary

    Hi Justine, our 19 yr. old son has just been diagnosed with aspergers.We feel like we have been woken up. We have thought that he was just shy and an introvert.All through school he was not like the “other” boys.We would get frustrated at him that he would not talk to anybody, his teachers would even tell us that and we never clued in.The best example that sticks in my head now and I kick myself for it was after his high school grad, Our best friends daughter and my son both graduated together, and we all went back to their house for a quiet gettogether and their daughter after about 15 minutes announced that alot of the other students were coming over .Our son could not get out of there fast enough and we were like its ok you know them all have fun, but he was ready to literally jump out the window before all the other kids came. We had to leave he was freaking out. Our eyes are now thankfully opened up to all of his behaviours.We are doing alot of reading and research, Thank-You for this site. Mary

    • Justine

      Hi Mary
      Thank you for sharing about your son. Sorry for the delay in replying. I have had my own personal challenges that have taken me offline for a few weeks.

      I am truly glad to hear that you are now aware of what is going on with your son. This will be a great support and encouragement to him. Even if he is unable to express it to you, I am sure that he will be glad to know that you better understand him and that you are standing with him.

      Good on you for researching and finding the support and assistance that can best help your son.

      I truly do wish you all the very best on your own journey within your family.

      God bless each of you.
      Justine 🙂

  4. Micki

    Hello Justine. I have been married for 15 years to a man whom I believe has Aspberger. As stated above regarding intimate relationships, being clueless is an understatement. However, what concerns me more is the fact that he exhibits very unusual behavior such as thrashing of his arms and hands (while barbecuing he said a bee was bothering him). Another time while at a swimming pool he made gestures as if screaming in anger at someone (nonvocal, just facial anger like screaming). It was very odd. When I asked about it he said he was stretching. Does this sound typical to you? By the way, he has a diagnosis of dyslexia. Your thoughts and/or suggestions would be appreciated.

    • Justine

      Hi Micki
      I honestly am not familiar with the particular behavior that you have expressed that your husband exhibits. Sorry.

      I am not sure what to suggest. If there are things that really bother you and are causing a problem in your marriage then it may be worthwhile to suggest to your husband to see your family doctor or another professional.

      Are you able to tell your partner your concerns about his behavior? Perhaps you can try to express this to him and tell him that you would like to have it out in the open.

      Please come back and let us know how you get on. I wish you both all the very best.

      Justine 🙂


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