Just as children can struggle with AS so too Aspergers in adults also presents challenges and hurdles. There is no cure for Aspergers. Hence kids who are diagnosed as having asperger syndrome will carry many of the difficulties and symptoms into their adult life.
Symptoms Of Aspergers In Adults
The symptoms in adults are similar to those in children and young people. Keep in mind too that aspies have strengths as well as weaknesses, just like everyone else on the planet. So even though there are challenges and difficulties there are also strengths that need to be remembered and encouraged.
- Difficulty with problem solving
- Problems making predictions
- Problems using high-level verbal reasoning skills
- Difficulty in participating in general conversations including ‘small talk’
- Difficulties with seeing and understanding the view points of others
- Difficulty empathizing with the feelings and emotions of others
- Tendency to become stressed when routines are altered
Strengths may include:
- Average to above average intellect
- Passionate about a specific hobby or interest
- Ability to work well within a set routine
Aspergers In Adults May Produce Challenges
Some of the areas that aspie adults need to work through and develop skills in may include:
- Intimate Relations
- Work place
Everyone, regardless of whether they have asperger syndrome or not, struggles at times in relationships with others. It is true that aspies may have more difficulties than some, but the fact remains that every person who has friends or is in a relationship sometimes find it hard to get on and communicate well with the other party or parties.
Those with aspergers can especially struggle due to the inability to participate well in ‘small talk’ and general, every day conversation. The difficulty with understanding jokes and abstract concepts can also make communications within a relationship somewhat harder than the average relationship.
Difficulty understanding social cues may also make communicating somewhat challenging for those with asperger syndrome. Finding it hard to understand facial expresses or to read between the lines with what others say or do can also make relationship building a challenge. Being attached to fixed routines may at times make it difficult to develop deep and meaningful relationships.
But regardless of the challenges it is possible to develop real friendships and relationships, but will take some effort and understanding from everyone involved.
One issue that can especially arise in marriage is the difficulty that a person with aspergers has in empathizing with others. Emotions and feelings are important in marriage, or any relationship for that matter, and if the couple is unable to share these emotions with each other then it can put additional strain on the relationship and marriage.
It may not even be that the person with aspergers does not experience emotions, but rather that he or she does not know how to express these emotions. If you step back for a moment and imagine what it would be like if you did feel various emotions in different situations and yet were unable to know how to express these emotions, then what would you do? How would you feel in such circumstances? According to some aspies this is indeed the case, that they feel emotions, sometimes evenly strongly, but are not able to display and express what they are feeling inside.
There is also the issue of relating sexually. It may be difficult for an Aspergian to fully grasp the importance of the entire concept of courtship and relating that precedes sex. It is really important that this whole issue be discussed and brought out into the open so that the marriage relationship can have the very best chance of success.
It may be that the one with asperger does not have a high sex drive, as some people who are married to aspies have indicated. Or it may also be that they simply do not know how to relate intimately with another person. If social interaction is difficult then being physically intimate can take this difficulty to a whole new level!
If you are in a relationship with someone who has been diagnosed as having asperger syndrome then it is important to discuss this situation with someone who understands aspergers. Do not just suffer in silence if this is impacting you or someone you love, but rather reach out for help.
Parenting is not an easy task at the best of times. When one or both parents have aspergers then the task of being a parent may be even more challenging. It is important that the situation be explained to the child as they grow so that they can better understand that both parents love him or her and that it is because of the asperger condition that some of the additional challenges arise.
Problems may come up when routines and schedules are broken or changed. If the kids are meant to do something at a certain time and this gets altered then it may cause stress for the aspergian parent.
It may also be hard for the aspie parent to understand and empathize with the emotions that the child is feeling or expressing. This can leave the child feeling like the parent doesn’t care, when this is not the case.
Perfectionism can also cause strain on the relationship between the parent with asperger and the child. If things are not done the way the parent wants and they become angry then the child may learn to fear the parent and pull away from them.
Oftentimes aspies feel most relaxed and comfortable when they operate within fixed routines. Hence a job that does not throw up unexpected surprises is probably the best choice for those diagnosed with asperger’s syndrome.
Possible Career Ideas
Many Aspergians can still live a very full and happy life and enjoy a fulfilling job or career. It is important to select a line of work though that plays to the aspie’s strengths while minimizing the need to rely on areas of challenge or weakness. If you enjoy technology and have a good eye for detail then there are many jobs or careers that you could pursue. Hence below is a list of possible career or job ideas.
- Designing websites
- Computer programming
- Auto mechanic
- Building trades
- Video game creator
It is important to find something that you will enjoy doing day after day and that will not stress you too much. This list hopefully will spark some ideas for you.
Misspelling of Asperger
Sometimes when people have not known of Aspergers previously and they are researching the topic then they may type ‘Asberger’ into the search engine online instead of the correctly spelled Asperger. For instance, ‘Asbergers in adults’ or ‘asberger in adults’ may be the term that they type in to find out more information. I just thought that I would mention this as you may arrive at this page and be happy to learn the correct spelling of this word.
Aspergers in adults can be challenging just as it is for children and teens. Hence it is important to seek assistance from a support group or professional that understands the hardships faced by those with asperger and the family and friends of these people.
Even with the difficulties involved it is still possible for those adults with aspergers to live happy, fulfilling lives, to enjoy healthy relationships, to become parents and to have an interesting career or job.
FAAAS – Families impacted by Asperger Syndrome
Wikipedia – Aspergers